Facing up to rape: Victim speaks out about the ‘faceless’ crime

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anxiety, attention-seeking, awareness, educate, embarrassment, fear, humiliation, powerlessness, rape, report, sexual assault, sexual harassment, Sexual Violence, shame, stigma, violated

Facing up to rape: Victim speaks out about the ‘faceless’ crime

Up until two weeks ago, Francesca Ebel had never told anyone in her family – or indeed most of her friends – that she had been raped. Yet she has now gone public, and the response has been overwhelming.

There were no dark alleys or threats of knives. There were no dodgy areas of town or even strangers involved. And that’s the whole point, explains the 20-year-old student, who is in her first year of studying Russian and French at Cambridge University.

“It happened three years ago. I was 17 and at a party. I got drunk and so friends helped me up the stairs and into bed. It was there that I was awoken by a crashing noise and burst of white light. I realised that someone was wrenching back the duvet and clambering on top of me, frantically pressing his lips to mine. Then my legs were pulled apart and I felt a sudden, tearing pain.”

Even in her drunken stupor, Francesca knew instinctively that something was very wrong and tried to shove him off. She even said “No”. More than once. “But he ignored me, breathing heavily in my ear.”

When it was over, Francesca stumbled outside, to find him smoking and laughing with his friends, and in the days afterwards, he boasted and joked about their sexual encounter.

Suspecting that she would be branded, at least by some, as an attention-seeker and a liar, she did not accuse him of rape. In fact, even when she confided in a close friend, it didn’t occur to her to use the word rape. “How could I claim to have been raped when ‘rape’ conjures up such violent images? How could my experience possibly parallel brutalities such as gang-rapes in India? It was unthinkable. Mine was not a violent rape; my rapist’s motives were not hateful or destructive. Furthermore, I felt embarrassed, ashamed and humiliated. So I put it behind me and got on with my life.”

And to a large extent, she succeeded. “Thankfully, my enjoyment of sex has not been affected and I’ve flourished in functional relationships. So how could I even begin to claim to identify with other victims’ experiences?” she says.

But about a year ago, when Francesca was in a relationship with a lawyer, she told him what had happened. “He stared at me and said: ‘You do realise that that is legally rape. You said no and that you didn’t want it to happen’. It was the first time I saw things clearly.”

Shortly afterwards, Francesca started university and was struck by how many other women, including a close friend, talked about similar experiences – something that certainly doesn’t surprise Rape Crisis, the charity, which claims that an estimated 90 per cent of those who experience sexual violence know the perpetrator in some way.

“There was a major survey that came out last month, which found that more than one in 13 women at Cambridge University had been sexually assaulted and that the vast majority – 88 per cent – did not report it,” Francesca says. “The study got people talking about their own experiences.”

According to the survey, women at the university are routinely groped, molested and raped. Like Francesca, one of the rape victims explained that she did not report her attacker because she thought that nothing would come of it. “I have no reason to believe that my report will be taken seriously, be investigated or result in a conviction. On the contrary, I have every reason to believe that he would be acquitted,” the woman stated. A couple of weeks later, an article appeared in the Cambridge Tab – of which Francesca is news editor – on what to do if you are raped. “We had run a few anonymous stories of sexual assault in our publication, but this one, which was written by the brother of a rape victim, really got to me, because it listed all of the things that I wish I’d done at the beginning. Suddenly, I just felt sick of this feeling of frustration, powerlessness and stigma about what had happened to me and so many others, and I felt a need to speak out. So I did.

“By storing the incident up inside me, I had let it gnaw away at me – the questions, anxieties and fury had built up to a level which was almost intolerable,” she explains. “And perhaps most critically of all, I wanted to turn a negative experience into something constructive.”

Francesca’s article appeared in the next issue, on 17 May, titled “There are people behind recent rape statistics and you must take their stories seriously”. What followed the headline was a candid, honest and brave account of her own experience, together with a plea for readers to recognise that behind stories of rape and sexual harassment, there are people who have to carry on with their lives and come to terms with what has happened, no matter how violent or “ordinary” their experience.

“Rape can happen to anyone at any time and I hoped that my story would demonstrate that,” she explains. “I also wanted to shed some light on why it is so hard to report an incident, and finally, I want to educate and initiate. Rape is not just confined to shady, impoverished corners of the globe; and it has to stop.”

It would have been far easier to write it anonymously, she admits. “Speaking out about rape has its consequences, not just for the person themselves, but for their family and friends. But there are too many faceless victims. I wanted to put a face to a story that has happened to so many people. I’m not disparaging anonymity in any way, but it does depersonalise the issue and I think that, as a result, people often don’t realise that rape is so common.”

Almost instantly, the article went viral, having had more than 28,000 views so far. Francesca has also been inundated with private letters and comments online, mostly from women who tell similar stories.

“It has been chilling to see the same story told again and again, and they all say the same thing – that they were full of self-doubt and fear of being labelled as an attention-seeker or that they wouldn’t be believed. Many, like me, don’t see themselves as a victim or the incident as defining them, but it has nonetheless affected them hugely.”

The responses also revealed just how frightened people are of reporting it. “Many of the women explained how they couldn’t face the trauma of the very system that is meant to protect us.”

Others wondered if it would even get to court – and with just 6 per cent of cases reported to police ultimately ending in a conviction, according to Rape Crisis, who can blame them?

“For reasons I can’t express even to myself, I have no current plans to report my case,” Francesca says. “But actually for me, what has been most empowering is to have gone public, to have helped raise awareness of both how ‘normal’ this is and how harmful it is.”

On reflection, Francesca’s original fear of attention-seeking has a certain irony: “I am certainly seeking attention now. That night, I was forced to share a level of intimacy which I usually reserve for the people I trust and care for. I was violated against my will, by a friend who unfortunately remains on the periphery of my life.

“Rape is incredibly complex and can have devastating consequences, whatever the situation. Right now, there is a critical and pressing need for us to broaden our understanding of the issues and educate future generations on the nature of consent.”

The Rape of an 11-Year-Old Girl Highlights an Important Wider Issue

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Children, sexual assault, sexual harassment, sexual objectification, young people

The Rape of an 11-Year-Old Girl Highlights an Important Wider Issue

A man appeared in court last week charged with the rape of an 11-year-old girl on her way home from school. The news has caused widespread shock and consternation, but stories submitted to the Everyday Sexism Project website this year suggest that the sexual harassment of young girls in school uniform is far less rare a phenomenon than we might like to think.

The huge number of entries we have received detailing the sexual objectification and harassment of schoolgirls comes from parents, from bystanders and from victims themselves. One girl told us:

“I was 13 when I experienced sexual harassment for the first time… I was stopped by a group of men (at least 17 or more years old) in a black pick-up truck. They were telling me that they liked school girls and that I probably “have a tight pussy.” I didn’t understand what they were talking about. I was 13… I barely had started growing pubic hair when this happened.”

When the girl objected, she says one of the men shouted “you’re feisty, I like that” before speeding off. She continues:

“For years I have been keeping the secret of all the attacks fellow school mates an [sic] strange young men have shown towards me. I very much considered myself a child at the time of these events.”

Too often the reports we receive suggest that girls are too scared to speak up or shamed into feeling that what has happened was their own fault. Because this frequently silences victims, many people are unaware of how severe the problem is. A man wrote to us, shocked, after witnessing a similar event:

“The other day when I was sitting outside of my work two middle school girls walked out after getting ice cream on their way home from school… a jeep drove by and a man yelled “sluts” at them. It was a very upsetting thing to witness. I dont [sic] want to live in a world where men think its okay to treat any women, much less two girls who couldn’t have been more than 14, like that. Something is very wrong.”

Many of the stories we have received also suggest a worrying normalisation of sexual harassment within schools by students themselves, with one woman telling us:

“At my child’s primary school is a playground corner difficult to see by supervisors – kids call it The Rape Corner”.

Another woman described her own experiences of sexual assault in a school setting, and explained the normalisation that left her feeling unable to report them:

“Between the ages of about 12 and 14 I and many other girls were regularly pestered and groped by boys in the halls. I remember one boy in particular would run after a friend of mine and kind of tackle her grabbing her boobs. Thinking back it’s really odd none of us felt we should/could tell teachers about this… It happened a lot… It felt like it was just something that happened when you got older. But it shouldn’t be.”

Another told us:

“In the first year of high school I was walking home with a friend and a group of boys (three or four I think) from my year pushed me against a wall trying and managing to put their hands up my skirt. My friend just watched and laughed”.

One student even said:

“When I was 15 I was reading aloud in English. I asked what page to start from and was told Page 3, and the male laddish teacher added ‘you should be on Page 3’. I was a geeky kid and already ashamed of my body. All the class laughed I never forgot it.”

A theatre in education facilitator working on projects with young girls in schools told us about 13-year-old girls “telling me they get beeped at and catcalled on [the] way home from school” and a girl of the same age who was sent a text message from a boy at school “threatening to rape her”.

It is deeply saddening that young girls are receiving the message, both as they walk to and from school and from within their own peer groups, that their bodies are fair game for catcalls and groping, and that sexual assault is something to be laughed at, played down and made into a joke. At the same time their male peers are also affected, as they form their ideas about what constitutes ‘normal’ treatment of the opposite sex. Of course these reports vary in their severity, but it is important to sit up and take notice of what is happening all the time, not just when a serious crime has been committed.

To give some idea of the frequency with which events like this are reported, every one of the accounts mentioned in this article was received in the past week alone, without any special request for particular submissions on this theme.

Lesson one: We’re students, not slags

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culture, sexual assault, sexual harassment, sexual objectification

Lesson one: We’re students, not slags

“Rappers and Slappers”, “Slag and Drag”, and “CEOs and Corporate Hoes”. They may sound like adult films, but these are the names of some of the university-affiliated freshers’ week parties that undergraduates have been invited to attend on campuses and nightclubs across Britain.

When I chronicled the highly-sexualised freshers’ week experiences that female students have reported to the Everyday Sexism Project in an article for Independent Voices last week, I expected a trickle of responses.

But I received a deluge of similar stories from hundreds of students – male and female – who are appalled by the macho culture that seems to set the tone of social life at UK universities.

Parties at which female students are pressured to dress in revealing or sexualised outfits appear increasingly common. To pick just one example, a woman described a freshers’ week initiation for male rugby players: “All the rugby freshers had their trousers around their ankles and were standing in their boxers. They were encouraged to pick one of us to “grind” with them (gyrate against them). One guy grabbed me and pulled me on to the dance floor and then told me I had to grind on him or else he’d have to do a forfeit. When I refused he told me I was frigid and grabbed a different fresher.”

Another reader, Sorrel Kinton said: “I attended one of these events and was turned away at the door for wearing normal clothing … I was told I could come in if I flashed.”

The idea that students must choose to participate or risk being labelled “uptight” is a recurring theme. Nesrin Samli, who graduated from Liverpool University this summer, told The Independent, “it’s very different for people who feel more shy or uncomfortable, because you don’t have a choice – there were strict initiations and you had to do what everyone else did or you were just missed out.”

Of course, students can choose to avoid such events altogether, and many universities offer a wider range of activities, from chill-out nights to afternoon teas. But there remains a strong sense of pressure to participate in the main events, as students experience the nerve-wracking process of finding their feet for the first time away from home. Samli says: “Even if you don’t want to dress like that, it’s a matter of whether you want to be part of the group and have friends.”

Emma Carragher, vice president of the Cardiff University Women’s Association, agrees: “There’s a danger that new students feel pressured into taking part because ‘everyone else is doing it’ – if they want to take a stand against objectification they’ll be seen as weird which is obviously not the first impression they want to make.

“More than that, these events … send the message to freshers that this is normal … The first year of university is where your political and ideological views are challenged and reformed, so universities should be striving to promote the idea that women are not objects rather than encouraging it.”

A 2010 National Union of Students study revealed that 1 in 7 of the female students surveyed had been the victim of sexual assault or violence.

Yet several of the reports we have received reference “rape-victim themed” fancy dress parties and “banter” about sexual assault. One woman said that when she was at university two years ago, 15 members of a male-only drinking society were suspended when a “hit list” they had compiled of female students as sexual targets became public. Another wrote: “I the only girl in politics tutorial on feminism. No real discussion. Just jokes on women and kitchen. Including from the tutor.” Another student showed us a copy of a poster she said was used to advertise unisex football trials at her university. The top half consisted entirely of a picture of a woman’s breasts in a bra. Beneath, the text began: “Now I have your attention lads…”

Many would dismiss some of these incidents as harmless, or claim that themed events like “Pimps and Hoes” have little real impact on student welfare. But these reports suggest a disturbing culture of female students facing sexual objectification and demeaning labels, and the use of such names for official university and student union events sends a powerful message by implying the institutions’ acceptance or approval of this culture.

The idea of complicity is of great importance here. From the number of reports we have recently seen emerging in the national press on the theme of sexual harassment in the workplace over the past 30 years – most notably the Jimmy Savile scandal – it has become clear how easily victims can feel oppressed by a culture of normalised acceptance within a large institution. Likewise, young students at a vulnerable life stage might be affected by the suggestion that certain attitudes towards women are condoned by their educational institutions. It should be the responsibility of all universities to behave proactively to eradicate any implication that they might support the sort of damaging, victim-blaming ideas associated with labels such as “slag”, “hoe” and “slapper”.

Also: Cambridge University Graduate Blogs On Horrifying Misogyny In Catalogue Of A Barmaid

Revealed: the scale of sexual abuse by police officers

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abuse, Children, crime, police, rape, sexism, sexual assault, sexual harassment, sexual predators, vulnerability, women, young people

June 2012:

Revealed: the scale of sexual abuse by police officers

Sexual predators in the police are abusing their power to target victims of crime they are supposed to be helping, as well as fellow officers and female staff, the Guardian can reveal.

An investigation into the scale and extent of the problem suggests sexual misconduct could be more widespread than previously believed.

The situation raises questions about the efficacy of the police complaints system, the police’s internal whistleblowing procedures, the vetting of officers and a failure to monitor disciplinary offences.

Police officers have been convicted or disciplined for a range of offences from rape and sexual assault to misconduct in public office relating to inappropriate sexual behaviour with vulnerable women they have met on duty. Others are awaiting trial for alleged offences, though many are never charged with a criminal offence and are dealt with via internal disciplinary procedures.

The problem is to a large extent hidden, as no official statistics are kept and few details are released about internal disciplinary action in such cases.

By analysing the data available – including court cases and misconduct proceedings – the Guardian has attempted to document the scale of the corruption for the first time.

In the past four years, there were 56 cases involving police officers and a handful of community support officers who either were found to have abused their position to rape, sexually assault or harass women and young people or were investigated over such allegations.

The Independent Police Complaints Commission (IPCC) and the Association of Chief Police Officers (Acpo) are so concerned they are carrying out a rare joint inquiry into the scale of the problem, which will be published in September, the Guardian can reveal.

Their work was prompted by the case of the Northumbria police constable Stephen Mitchell, 43, who was jailed for life in January 2011 for carrying out sex attacks on vulnerable women, including prostitutes and heroin addicts, while he was on duty.

Despite being the subject of previous disciplinary offences, involving one inappropriate relationship with a woman and the accessing of the force computer to find private details of an individual, Mitchell had not been subjected to extra supervision or dismissed by the force.

Those targeted by the officers are predominantly women, but in some cases are children and young people, many of them vulnerable victims of crime.

The Guardian’s investigation has uncovered evidence of:

• Vetting failures, including a concern that vetting procedures may have been relaxed post-2001 during a surge in police recruitment.

• Concerns over the recording and monitoring of disciplinary offences as officers progress through their career.

• A tendency for women who complain they have been sexually attacked by a policeman not to be believed.

• A pervasive culture of sexism within the police service, which some claim allows abusive behaviour to go unchecked.

Debaleena Dasgupta, a lawyer who has represented women sexually assaulted and raped by police officers, said: “I don’t think any [victims] are quite as damaged as those who are victims of police officers.

“The damage is far deeper because they trusted the police and … believed that the police were supposed to protect them from harm and help catch and punish those who perpetrate it.

“The breach of that trust has an enormous effect: they feel that if they can’t trust a police officer, who can they trust? They lose their confidence in everyone, even those in authority. It is one of the worst crimes that can be committed and when committed by an officer, becomes one of the greatest abuses of power.”

The officers involved come from all ranks within the service: the most senior officer accused of serious sexual harassment was a deputy chief constable, who was subject to 26 complaints by 13 female police staff.

David Ainsworth, deputy chief constable of Wiltshire police, killed himself last year, an inquest heard this month, during an inquiry into his behaviour. He is one of two officers accused of sexual misconduct to have taken their own lives over the past four years.

In one of the worst cases in the past four years, Trevor Gray, a detective sergeant with Nottinghamshire police, broke into the home of a woman he met on a date and raped her while her young child slept in the house.Gray was jailed for eight years in May for rape, attempted rape and sexual assault.

Many of the cases documented involve police officers accessing the police national computer to gain access to the details of vulnerable women and young people in order to bombard them with texts and phone calls and initiate sexual contact.

Deputy Chief Constable Bernard Lawson of Merseyside police, the Acpo lead on counter-corruption, who is working with the IPCC on the joint report, said: “Police officers who abuse their position of trust have an incredibly damaging impact on community confidence in the service.

“There is a determination throughout policing to identify and remove those who betray the reputation of the overwhelming majority of officers.”

In its report on corruption within the police service published last month, the IPCC identified abuse of authority by officers for their own personal gain, including to engage in sexual intercourse with a vulnerable female while on duty, and the misuse of computer systems to access details of vulnerable females, as two of the five key corruption threats to the service.

IPCC figures show that 15% of the 837 corruption cases referred by forces to the watchdog between 2008 and 2011 involved abuse of authority by a police officer, and 9% involved misuse of systems.

Clare Phillipson, director of Wearside Women in Need, who supported some of Mitchell’s victims, said: “What you have here is the untouched tip of an iceberg in terms of sexually questionable behaviour and attitudes. The police service, in my experience, has an incredibly macho culture and women are seen as sexual objects.

“Police officers have a duty to steer away from vulnerable women in distress, some of whom see these police officers as their saviours. It is an abuse of their power to exploit that.”

One area to be examined by the IPCC is whether there might have been vetting failures from 2001 onwards during a massive recruitment drive in the police.

Between 2001 and 2007, the overall strength of the service grew by more than 16,000, with around 2,666 officers recruited each year on average.

Six years ago, a study of vetting within the police service by Her Majesty’s Inspectorate of Constabulary revealed “disturbing” failures that had allowed suspect individuals to join the service. The report, Raising the Standard, exposed more than 40 vetting failures among police officers and support staff. The report concluded: “The potential damage that can be caused by just one failure should not be underestimated.”

Update: Sexual predators in police ‘must be rooted out’

Four in 10 young women sexually harassed in public spaces, survey finds

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sexual harassment

Four in 10 young women sexually harassed in public spaces, survey finds

Sexual harassment is a persistent and dangerous problem on Britain’s streets, women’s charities have warned, as a poll reveals that more than four in 10 young women were sexually harassed in the capital over the last year.

A YouGov survey of 1,047 Londoners commissioned by End Violence Against Women Coalition (Evaw) found that 43% of women aged between 18 and 34 had experienced sexual harassment in public spaces in the last year.

Despite a growing intolerance of unwanted sexual attention, harassment was still very common and made women feel unsafe particularly when travelling alone, said Holly Dustin, director of Evaw.

“Sexual harassment is so ingrained that we barely notice it, but when you start talking to women almost every one has a horrible story to tell: it’s time for society to stand up and put a stop to it.”

Schoolchildren as young as 12 were being targeted, she said, with previous research for the group revealing that one in three girls in UK schools had experienced unwanted sexual contact.

Dismissing sexual harassment – from unwanted comments on the street about appearance to groping – as “harmless fun” or complimentary was dangerous, she added.

“Sexual harassment has a real impact on women’s lives, whether it is changing their behaviour or whether they feel safe on the streets,” she said.

“It feeds into a fear of rape and sexual violence and has a harmful effect on broader issues of equality.”

The poll also found 31% of women aged 18 to 24 experienced unwanted sexual attention on public transport and 21% of 25- to 34-year-olds. Overall, 5% of the women surveyed had experienced unwanted sexual contact on public transport.

Fiona Elvines, of South London Rape Crisis, said it was rare to meet a woman who had not suffered street harassment. “Women manage this harassment every day, in their routines and daily decisions – but it has an impact on their self-esteem and body image,” she said. “Women are saying that there are consequences to this, and it’s time to start listening to them.”

In a recent case, Lee Read, 23, was jailed for 28 months after groping four women and an 11-year-old girl. He put his coat over his lap before grabbing women’s legs. In the most serious attack, he grabbed the leg of a woman in her early 20s on the London underground, before forcibly grabbing her between the legs.

Campaigners say women globally are increasingly challenging unwanted sexual attention, using social media to bring harassers to account. Vicky Simister, the founding director of Ash – the UK Anti Street Harassment Campaign, said the issue was not restricted to London and called for a national survey. Authorities could take steps to make a significant difference to women’s safety, she added.

“Local councils and the police need to convey a strong message that this behaviour will not be tolerated by perpetrators. A good example was the ‘Flirt/Harass: Real Men Know the Difference’ poster campaign by Lambeth council in partnership with the Metropolitan police, which conveyed a no-tolerance message.”

Hollaback – a website where women who have received unwanted sexual attention or harassment can share stories or photographs of their harassers – has activists in 50 cities in 17 countries around the world.

“Whether it is unwanted sleazy comments or violent sexual assault, street harassment is an epidemic in London,” said Byrony Beynon, a co-director of Hollaback London. “But there is definitely a groundswell of people saying this is not on, it is not acceptable. Women are taking back the power they felt was taken away from them in that moment of harassment.”

The organisations are calling for a public awareness campaign on transport networks, similar to signs that discourage passengers from eating smelly food or putting feet on seats. “We are asking for training for transport staff to help them deal with these incidents and serious police intervention when it is needed,” said Dustin of Evaw. “But we are also asking for the wider community to recognise this is not acceptable and speak out against it when they see it happening.”